Tell Me to Stay Read online

  “I think maybe I had two too many,” I joke.

  Glancing over at Nicholas, I see the disapproving look, the scowl.

  I know what he wants to say without him having to say it.

  If you weren’t ready, why did you insist on coming? I could’ve done this myself.

  “It’s okay, if you don’t want to,” Kristen says with a disappointed look on her face.

  Last night was our first date and anyone can forgive someone for not sleeping with them on the first date.

  But tonight? No, this is the only chance I’ll get.

  I sit back on the couch and uncross my legs.

  I take a deep breath.

  I take a long look at Kristen and then Becker and finally at Nicholas.

  I wait for them to reassure me again that I should be under absolutely no pressure, but luckily none of them do.

  They just sip their drinks and wait.

  “What about this?” Kristen suggests. “What if you two just kiss…for us…right now?”

  Her eyes light up at the idea and so do mine.

  Nicholas leans closer to me and touches his lips with mine.

  I open my mouth and we move our heads to opposite sides.

  His hands grab the back of my neck and press me against the couch. His whole body is leaning into me and it feels both exciting and safe.

  At this point, another part of me takes over.

  The one that is less cerebral.

  The one that doesn’t listen to reason but reacts to feelings.

  I usually keep this side at bay. I keep it hidden deep inside. But whenever I’m around Nicholas, it emerges. I thought I could only be this way with him in private but the feelings are so powerful they overwhelm my other senses.

  Suddenly, there is no Kristen or Becker.

  There is only us.

  Our hands, our mouths, our bodies. Nicholas’ hands are on my breasts and his mouth is on my shoulder.

  My lips kiss his neck while my fingers dig into his hair.

  When I hear her laughter, I pull away briefly and see that Kristen and Becker are lost in each other’s embrace as well.

  She is sitting on top of him with her legs straddling his torso.

  He pulls up her shirt, leans her back a little bit, and then kisses her stomach.

  “I want to see her on all fours,” Becker whispers, not really to Nicholas or Kristen or me, just in our general direction.

  Kristen’s eyes flicker in surprise.

  She inhales but doesn’t exhale as she waits for my response.

  But there is nothing to fear. His words don’t scare me. In fact, they just turn me on. Seeing that this is making me hot, Nicholas stands up and gives me the space to flip over.

  I lean with my arms on the back of the couch and my knees on the cushions.

  Nicholas tugs at the hem of my dress for a few moments before finally rolling it up to my waist, exposing my bare bottom.

  He doesn’t have much time.

  Before we met them, we had agreed that we would have to work quickly. Whichever one of us is the closest to the bag, that’s the person who will do it.

  And now, with him standing over me, I am glad that we knew that there was no way that we could communicate with anything other than grunts and simple words.

  Leaning over me, he touches the outside of my butt cheeks and I flex and relax them.

  The air feels thick with electricity and when I glance over at Kristen, I see Becker with his head buried in between her legs.

  I dig my fingernail into Nicholas’ side. When our eyes meet, I glance over at the laptop. He gives me a slight nod as I let out a loud sigh.

  I’m about to flip over on my back, but he stops me, reaching into a tiny pocket in the ruching of my dress and pulling out my pliers.

  These are closer to him than his own, which are held up by his left sock and buried into his shoes.

  The pliers disappear up his sleeve as he flips me over onto my back. I reach up to him as my mouth searches for his skin.

  As my lips slide down his chest toward his belly button, he snips off the metal cord and slips the flash drive into his pocket.

  A few more demonstrative kisses later, and he gives me three taps of his index finger on my collarbone.

  That’s the sign that the fake flash drive is attached to the laptop. The mission is complete.

  He slides back down on top of me, pressing his mouth on mine. It’s now safe to pull away. It’s now safe to make an excuse and leave.

  The relief that sweeps over me is hard to describe. Moments like these are always tense and full of uncertainty and there is still a strong possibility that we could get caught. But for now, we did it.

  When he feels me drifting away, Nicholas touches my face.

  Our eyes meet and everything else in the room stops existing. There is no more them. There is no more job. There is just us.

  It feels dangerous to be with him and I can’t stay away. I’m a moth drawn to a flame.

  At some point, I’m going to get burned but that’s okay. I accept that fate because of what I can experience in the meantime. Perhaps, it’s stupid and ill-advised but none of that matters now. Touching him sends shivers through me. I crave his smooth hard body and I want him to do bad things to me.

  His skin has a thick masculine smell that intoxicates every part of my being. Every time I inhale, I fall deeper under his spell and I don’t ever want to wake up. Nicholas presses his lips into the space between my neck and my collarbone. I bury my hands in his hair and tug a little too hard.

  His tongue gives me a lick and I tilt my head back from pleasure. He then runs his tongue up the side of my throat, taking his mouth back to mine.

  When our lips find each other again, shocks of electricity rush through me. His tongue moves slowly but mine demands a faster pace. With his jacket off, I tug at his tie and pull it over his head. Then I unbutton his shirt.

  He wants to take it easy but I don’t want to wait. I flip over onto the couch and press my butt against him. I close my eyes and wait in anticipation as he unbuckles his pants and presses himself to me.

  He’s hard and big and I tilt my butt higher in the air to welcome him to go further. A moment later, he slips on a condom and thrusts himself inside.

  He holds onto my hips as leverage as he slides in and out of me. I put my head on my forearms as my head starts to buzz. His hands make their way up my body to my breasts and play with my nipples.

  I tilt my head back with pleasure. He buries his hands in my hair, giving it a little tug with each of his moves. It makes my scalp tingle, sending shivers down my body.

  We move back and forth as one until a fire starts to build deep inside of my core. Once it lights, it spreads quickly through me igniting every part with its heat. I tense my feet and point my toes trying to hold on but it bursts out of me with one long moan.

  26

  Olive

  When he doesn't show up…

  I don’t know what came over me. There was nothing planned. In fact, I had planned the exact opposite.

  We were going to kiss. We were going to touch each other. Maybe, we were going to get a bit undressed.

  But we had a safe word. If I didn’t want to go any further then I wouldn’t have to. We talked about having a safe word, something I would say if I didn’t want to take it much further.

  But words like “divine” or “amazing” wouldn’t translate well into then having me pull away from what we were just doing. I considered other words. A noun perhaps, like “necklace” or “pomegranate” but those would be difficult to work into the conversation seamlessly.

  No, if I had wanted to stop, I could do that by doing just that, stopping.

  They knew I was inexperienced in this sort of thing and people without much of a history tend to get shy. I thought that would happen to me. I thought that that part of me that Nicholas seems to unlock and bring to life would shut down.

  But after he slid that flash
drive into his pocket, I couldn’t stop myself. My hands just made their way around his body and there was nothing I could do but let myself go on the ride.

  I had only remembered that Kristen and Becker were there at all after it was all done. I lay down on the bed, pulled up the sheets, and let out a big sigh.

  “Well, that was…hot,” Kristen says. “You two really lost yourselves in each other, huh?”

  I nod and smile.

  “How was that?” she asks.

  “I’ve never done anything like this before,” I say, shrugging.

  “Oh, I think you have.” Becker laughs.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “How do you feel about it?” Kristen asks.

  I look up at the ceiling and think about it.

  It’s hard to explain. I don’t want to be rude, but it was almost as if they weren’t there at all.

  “It was nice to know that you two were here,” I lie. “Maybe next time we can take it to another level.”

  Kristen and Becker’s faces light up.

  This is what they have been waiting to hear all this time. After spending a few minutes talking about sports and the weather, I say that we really have to get back home.

  We make tentative plans for the following weekend and kiss each other goodbye.

  “Won’t they get suspicious if we cancel our next date?” I ask when we walk out of the lobby.

  “We don’t have to,” he says, smiling out of the corner of his lips. I roll my eyes.

  “It’s not good to mix business and pleasure.”

  “Yeah, you’re right,” he says.

  “So, what are we going to say about next weekend?”

  “Becker is going to get a call on Thursday from me telling him that we broke up. It was too much for you. You’re jealous about how much time I spent looking at Kristen and you just can’t handle watching me with another woman.”

  It sounds like a plausible excuse but then something occurs to me.

  “Wait a second, why am I the one who is the jealous one here?” I ask. “Why can’t it be you?”

  “It can,” he says, nonchalantly. “But one of us has to make the call and the other one has to be jealous. What do you want to do?”

  Nicholas wants me to sleep over at his place but I want some alone time. Well, not so much alone time as non-hotel room time.

  I need to rest and since he can’t stay over at my place for obvious brother-related reasons, I leave him at the curb with a little kiss and a promise to text tomorrow.

  When I walk through my front door, I expect to see Owen on the couch ready with a lecture as to where I have been. But he’s not. He probably just went out with his old friends and lost track of time.

  It’s Saturday night after all. I decide to draw myself a bath and grab my tablet and my favorite candle. The tub isn’t much but it’s a tub and it will do.

  I have a little stand for my tablet so that I don’t accidentally drop it into the water and I stay here until the burning hot water turns lukewarm. Then I head straight into the bedroom, shut the door, and sleep past eleven.

  In the morning, Owen is still nowhere to be found. I text him a couple of times, first just saying hello and when he doesn’t reply, I get more concerned. The next two texts sound more like demand letters or perhaps outright threats.

  Why aren’t you answering your phone?

  Where the fuck are you?

  Write me back now!!

  By the time the sun starts to set, I can’t think about anything else. I try to watch TV. I try to look at Facebook and Instagram but nothing holds my interest. And everything reminds me of Owen.

  Is he punishing me for going out?

  Is he ignoring me on purpose?

  Did something happen to him?

  We have never lived together as adults. I don’t really know if I should expect a courtesy call or text from him, or when.

  I didn’t tell him much about what I was doing with my days. Maybe this is his way of getting me back.

  Or maybe it’s not sinister at all. Maybe he just has the ringer off. He isn’t used to carrying his phone around the way we have all become conditioned to do over these last two decades.

  Maybe he just left it somewhere and forgot all about it.

  All of these maybe’s spin around in my head until I start to feel queasy. But no matter how much I try to calm down my nerves with innocent explanations of what might be happening, Janet Bailey’s threat keeps coming back to me.

  27

  Nicholas

  When I meet him…

  When Olive first insists on coming to meet with Kristen and Becker again, I have my doubts. I don’t want to pressure her into doing something she doesn’t want to do, especially sexually, but I had to get that flash drive. I wish I knew that Kristen had left the bag in her room before we met up, but I was told she is never apart from it and, unfortunately, I took that intel at face value.

  As soon as we got upstairs, I started looking for a way out. The flash drive was attached to the laptop, which was hidden in the bag, which Kristen moved out of the way when she saw Olive inching closer to it. While I turned their attention to the bar, Olive did manage to re-arrange the laptop so that it was pointing the right way up and the metal cord was easy to snip off. But she didn’t have enough time to do it.

  At first, I expected that I would be working under a ticking clock. How much and how far Olive was willing to go was an unknown to me so my only goal was to make the switch before she asked to slow down. What I didn’t expect her to do was to not brake at all.

  With the flash drive safe in my pocket, my instinct was to get out of that place. Once the job is done, you should never press your luck by sticking around. But this one wasn’t exactly like the others. Even if Kristen were to look into her purse, all they would see is a flash drive attached to the laptop just like she had left it. She would not go through the contents of it now. Why would she?

  When I tried to make eye contact with Olive to see what she wanted to do, I couldn’t. Her eyes were closed and her hands were moving their way up and down my body.

  I won’t lie. It felt good. Good enough to push my luck.

  Okay, Olive, I said to myself. If you want this to stop then it’s up to you. I will follow your lead but I will not be the leader.

  So, that’s how it went. I tugged at her clothes and they came off. She pulled at mine and I tossed them away. When the evening came to a close, we’d shared something really special and I’d made two hundred grand, enough to make that bad check I wrote to her go away.

  “You’re late,” I say when he grabs the seat next to me.

  I know him only as Hawk, which is about as inappropriate as a nickname can get.

  He’s short, pudgy with a few too many beers around the midsection.

  His cheeks flare up easily not just out of embarrassment but also seemingly for no reason whatsoever.

  I’ve only seen him once before. He’s the middleman for the guy who hired me, the man whose identity I don’t know. When you do what I do, people hear about it and they reach out to you with jobs.

  It would be in my best interest to avoid middlemen in the future, but I don’t have plans to stay in Boston for long. This is a dangerous place where bad guys want to kill me, the cops want to put me away, and the FBI wants me to walk the tight rope between the two.

  I don’t have a good plan yet, but whatever I end up doing I will need money. This two hundred grand will go a long way to getting me set up somewhere warm, sunny, and with plenty of sandy beaches.

  “I’m here, aren’t I?” Hawk asks, running his fingers over his bald head as if there was hair there.

  “I don’t wait,” I say. “Another ten minutes and I wouldn’t have been here anymore.”

  Something between a scoff and a snort escapes his lips. “So, you do wait but only for twenty minutes, is that right?” he asks.

  Hawk’s cocky and arrogant and I don’t mean that as a compliment. He is t
he type to make you wait because he thinks your time is less valuable than his.

  It’s not. He is on his way to becoming an associate in a crime syndicate.

  He wears the gold chain and the expensive suit because he wants to be noticed. Acknowledged. Seen.

  I commit crimes so that I can be invisible. I want to be a ghost. The problem is that, now that I’m back home, I haven’t been particularly successful at it.

  “If you are not going to act professional,” I say slowly and quietly to show him that I am not intimidated. “I will not do anymore jobs for you or your boss. And when he asks me why I’m suddenly working for his competitors I’ll explain that it’s because of you.”

  His eyes narrow out of anger. He purses his lips and then takes a deep breath. “It won’t happen again,” he finally concedes.

  It’s not exactly an apology but he’s the type who thinks that to apologize is to show weakness, when in reality it’s to show strength. But his statement is enough for now.

  “Do you have it?” he asks. I give him a nod. “Where is it?”

  “It’s nearby,” I say without blinking. “Where is the money?”

  “Nearby as well.”

  I take a sip of my coffee and pour some maple syrup on my stack of pancakes.

  I have played this game before.

  I am pretty sure that he has, too.

  “So?” Hawk is the first one to break our silence.

  When the waitress came by with the menu and a pot of coffee, he said no to both.

  That’s his prerogative but the food in this hole-in-the-wall diner is to die for.

  “So what?” I ask, biting into the fluffiest pancake I’ve ever had. It tastes like I’m eating a sugary cloud.

  “How are we going to do this…exchange?” he asks.

  He taps his fingers on the vinyl seat. I hear him crack his knuckles and wipe his palms on his pants.

  “You are going to slide that bag you have in your lap over to me. When I am certain that everything is there then I’ll hand you the flash drive,” I say and take another forkful of the pancake.