Debt Page 9

  I want to toss her bags over the railing and punch her in her stupid face.

  I sit down on the bed.

  Suddenly, I come to an unfortunate realization. If I don’t do this for her, if I don’t act like a servant, then what am I really here for? What am I getting paid for? Well, I do help Jax out a lot. I serve him food and help him with his crutches. Take him outside. But now that our relationship has turned into something more interesting, will I still be doing that? Yes, of course. I decide. I’m here as a personal assistant. He’s definitely not paying me to sleep with him. And we haven’t even slept together yet. Perhaps, in the future…

  My mind drifts again. I hate Opal for her snooty attitude and her self-importance. But there’s also something else that I hate about her. I hate her for interrupting us. Our kiss. Now, instead of sitting around thinking about how wonderful our kiss was and how it could’ve become something more and what that could be, I’m sitting here thinking about Opal. Fuck her!

  Slowly, I pick up one of her bags and unzip the top. I’ve never touched a Louis Vuitton bag before, and it’s even nicer than I expected it to be. I love how soft and delicate the leather is. The structured frame of the bag reminds me of those vintage bags that everyone used to travel with in the movies from the 40s and 50s. If only my phone worked in this place, then I could actually look up how much one of these bags costs. Agh, why do you even bother, Sophia? I ask myself. It’s Louis Vuitton; each one must cost a fortune. So the Grayson family is loaded, what else is new?

  Inside Opal’s bags, I find some gorgeous dresses, crop tops, designer jeans, and three smaller Louis Vuitton bags full of makeup. Once all the dresses are hung up in the closet and all the jeans and tops are folded nicely on the shelves, I check the bags for any leftover things that I might’ve forgotten. In the front pocket of the smallest bag, I find a box of pregnancy tests. I don’t know what compels me, but I decide to count them. The box says that there should be ten, but she only has seven. Three are gone. Hmm. Why would three be gone?

  I’ve never been in this situation, but my friend got pregnant in the eleventh grade. I remember standing next to her and holding her hand as we waited for the results of the first test. It was between third and fourth period. When the first test said that she was pregnant, she immediately took another one. That one confirmed the results of the first so she took another one and another one. We went through four tests before she finally gave up and believed that she was indeed pregnant.

  I sit back down on the bed. I can’t believe what I’ve discovered. Opal is pregnant. Or at least, she might be. Oh my God. I want to tell Jax, but I can’t. Right? It’s not my place. I was snooping through her stuff…Well, actually that’s not true. She asked me to put everything away, and I made this discovery of the three missing tests inadvertently.

  My mind continues to race. I don’t know why I’m so involved with this. So what if Opal is pregnant? She’s in her late twenties. It’s not even that surprising. It’s not like she’s a teenager. It’s not a big deal.

  I try to remember whether she was wearing a ring of any sort when I saw her. Wedding ring? Engagement ring? No, the only ring that I saw on her hand was a small twist ring around her thumb. If that was anything sentimental, then it definitely wasn’t from a significant other in her life.

  But even if that was the case, who cares? She’s in her late twenties, and she has every right to be pregnant even if she isn’t married, or engaged, or with anyone. It’s none of my business, and no matter how much I want to tell Jax, it’s none of his business either. Damn it.

  “Sophia! Sophia!” I hear Opal’s voice traveling up the stairs.

  Jesus Christ, I say to myself. I just met her a few minutes ago and she’s already treating me like a servant.

  “Yes?” I say, walking to the top of the stairs.

  “Are you done yet?”

  “Yes.” I nod.

  “Okay, great. Can you be a darling and get me some iced tea, please? I can’t find Mr. Whitewater anywhere and I’m so thirsty. It’s so fucking hot outside.”

  I stare at her.

  “Sophia?” she asks and snaps her fingers. “Are you there?”

  “Did you just snap at me?”

  “Sorry, sorry, it’s a dumb habit. I know we’re not supposed to do that to the staff anymore. But who can keep up with all of these changes in socioeconomic relationships?”

  Who the hell is this woman? And does she live on this planet?

  “Sophia? Iced tea, please?” she says and walks away.

  I sigh. I have to talk to her about this, but something tells me that it will be a very long and tedious conversation.

  I go down to the kitchen and get the pitcher of iced tea from the refrigerator. I pour her a glass and bring it to her in the living room where Jax is still sitting on the couch.

  “Here you go, Opal,” I say.

  “So how did you two meet?” she asks when I turn around to leave the room.

  I don’t know what to say.

  “In a diner actually,” Jax says after a moment.

  “A diner, really?” Opal asks in her snooty, stuck up way. “That’s weird.”

  “Why’s that?” Jax challenges her.

  “Just a step down from your typical fare, isn’t it?”

  “And what’s that?” he asks. I’m on the verge of crying, and he’s actually going to make her say it. Why is he doing this? Why are they both acting like I’m not here?

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Opal tosses her hair. She opens her compact and fixes her perfect lipstick application. “Cocktail waitresses in five-star hotels? They aren’t doing it for you anymore?”

  “And what about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Which tight end will it be this week, O? Or are you over football players in general now that a certain quarterback dumped you for a Victoria’s Secret model?”

  “Fuck you!” She turns to him. Jax wipes little droplets of spit off his face.

  “Don’t start something you don’t want to finish, big sister. Or you’ll be up way past your bedtime.”

  “Go fuck yourself, Jax.” Opal gets up from her seat.

  “Oh, what’s the matter? You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?” Jax yells at her.

  “He was my fucking fiancé, Jax,” she says. Her voice cracks a bit. Is she actually tearing up? No, that can’t be it.

  “I don’t care.” Jax shrugs, unfazed. “Sophia is my guest, and you’re going to treat her with a little respect.”

  Opal gets a hold of her feelings and returns back to normal. “This is my house, too, and I’m going to treat the help any way I want to, bro.”

  Jax stood up for me. I’m grateful, but I also get the feeling that it made things a lot worse.

  “Just so you know, we’re not having dinner together tonight!” Jax yells after her, but she simply slams the door behind her.

  “I don’t think she was expecting to,” I say.

  “Fuck.” Jax shakes his head. “I don’t know why she has to be like that.”

  “Like what?” I joke.

  “She’s not always like this. Sometimes, she’s nice. She can be really nice and kind. I don’t know what the hell is going on with her, but ever since that son of a bitch dumped her, she’s been a real bitch.”

  I find it hard to believe that Opal wasn’t always a bitch, but I take his word for it.

  “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about her.”

  “It’s okay,” I sigh. I don’t really know how else to respond to this whole situation. I’ve never been treated like this by complete strangers before. “I just feel like she hates me or something. For no good reason. Do you think she’s jealous of me?”

  Jax laughs. “No, I don’t think so.” His nonchalant laughter makes me tense up.

  “Why are you laughing?” I ask.

  “I don’t know. Just the thought of O being jealous of you?”

  “You’re such a dick, Jax. You kn
ow that?” I shake my head and get up to leave.

  “What? What did I say?”

  I turn around to face him. The expression on his face is blank. He’s either a total idiot or completely clueless.

  “For your information, I didn’t mean that O is jealous of me…I meant that she might be jealous of you and me. But you just had to take it somewhere shitty, didn’t you? You know, I have a lot to offer. Just because you all have money and I don’t have any doesn’t mean that no one can be jealous of me. You fuckin’ stuck up asshole.”

  I turn and walk out the door.

  Chapter 24 - Sophia

  When he apologizes…

  I don’t want to see his face again for a long time, but a few hours later, there’s a knock at the door. I know who it is, but I don’t answer.

  “Go away.”

  “Sophia, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of that. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “I don’t care. Go away,” I say without getting off the bed. “How did you even get here with your casts on?”

  I regret asking the question immediately. It just gives us something more to talk about. And that’s the last thing I want right now.

  “I had help,’ Jax says. “I was just really mad at my sister for how she was treating you. I don’t know why she said any of those things.”

  “It’s not her I’m mad at right now, Jax.”

  “I know. I know,” he says and slaps the door with his hand. The slap is angry, but not at me. It sounds as if he’s angry with himself. “Sophia, please open the door. I really want to apologize to you face-to-face. And then I’m going to go.”

  I take a moment, but eventually give in.

  “What?” I ask, opening the door. My hands are folded across my chest. I am in no mood to hear anything but his most heartfelt apology.

  “Sophia, I didn’t mean any of that. I’m not going to make any excuses. That was wrong of me to say. It was wrong, and it was also untrue. I was an asshole. You know it. I know it. I’m sorry.”

  Wow. That was a much better apology than I’d expected. I thought he would make excuses, try to explain. I thought he would cloud up his apology with all the things that we usually say to diminish our wrongdoing. But he didn’t.

  I look at him. He’s pressing both of his arms against the sides of the doorway and leaning into my room. But only slightly. He’s no longer the cocky, arrogant Jax, who I’ve come to find so attractive. There’s another side to him. A vulnerable side. And I find this side is just as attractive.

  “Okay.” I nod.

  “Okay?” His face lights up.

  I nod again. I hate this part of the argument. That transition when one person apologizes and the other person accepts the apology. After that, there’s this gap or space that forms between the two people. The space demands to be filled with some sort of bodily contact, but neither of us seems sure of who the first person should be to make the contact. He’s the one who was wrong, the one who apologized, so I think it should be him. But looking at him and the way that his eyes are asking my permission, it seems like he thinks it should be me. Finally, I take a step forward.

  That’s enough of a lead for him to lean forward and take me into his arms.

  “You know I can’t stand your sister, right?” I say, pulling away from him.

  “Yes, I know that.” He presses his lips to mine.

  “No, I don’t think you do,” I mumble. This time, I’m unable to pull away successfully. I struggle a little but eventually give in. His lips taste like strawberries, and his tongue dances with mine.

  “How long is she staying here for?” I ask. I have to ask now before things get more out of control.

  “Can we not talk about my sister right now?” Jax pulls at my tank top. “It’s a little hard to get in the mood.”

  “Really?” I laugh. “You seem to be having no trouble.” I nudge him a little, pointing at the hard thing in his pants that’s pushing into my stomach.

  He laughs and continues to kiss me. He kisses my neck and makes his way down to the top of my breasts.

  “How long will she be here for?” I ask again. I need to have a date that I can look forward to.

  “I don’t know,” he mumbles with his face buried in my cleavage. “A few days. A week, maybe.”

  I nod. I try to believe him. I want to tell him that it may be months because she might be pregnant. Who the hell gets pregnant like that in this day and age anyway? How stupid could she be? My mind wanders again, but Jax’s sloppy kisses bring me back into this moment. Whatever I may know or not know, I’m not going to tell him tonight. That would ruin everything.

  “Let’s not talk about her anymore,” I say.

  “Good idea.” He smiles.

  Jax pushes me back against the wall and presses his whole body against mine. He pulls on my hair slightly as he kisses my neck and my lips. The pressing and the pulling gives me goose bumps, and I feel myself getting wet. After a moment of high intensity, the kissing slows to a more measured pace. It’s like our desperation for each other has vanished, if only for a moment, and we can really enjoy our time together.

  But then Jax pulls away. His face has a very serious expression on it.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Why did you stop?”

  “I’m just not sure what all of this is going to do to our agreed upon friendship.”

  I don’t even wait a second to answer. “Nothing. It’s going to be good for it.”

  “Really? Are most friendships improved with jumping into bed together?” His lips are forming into a coy, little smile. I realize that he’s joking. Making fun of me. Teasing me, even.

  “What do you want me to say?” I ask.

  “Nothing.” He shakes his head. He’s back to the cocky, arrogant guy I first laid my eyes on. “The ball’s in your court.”

  Chapter 25 - Sophia

  When I want him more…

  I don’t want the ball. I want him to push me down and have his way with me. I want to just be taken over by feelings and pleasure without any of the responsibility of owning my feelings or decisions. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

  “What are you going to do, Sophia?” Jax mocks me. “Are you going to ask me to stay a little longer? Or are you going to play by the rules?”

  He’s joking and making fun, but I know that his heart will be broken if I say I want to play by the rules. Stupid rules of friendship. Why did I put that in place anyway?

  “And what if I asked you to leave?” I ask, licking my lips. He stares at them as if he can’t look away.

  “Then I’ll leave,” he says quietly.

  “You promise?” I ask.

  He cracks a smile. Who’s going to give in first? I don’t really care as long as it’s someone.

  “Please ask me to come in,” he finally whispers.

  I can’t believe it. I’ve actually gotten him to do it.

  “You’re such a pushover.” I laugh.

  “No, not at all.” He wraps his arms around me. “I just want you a lot.”

  Jax’s lips are soft and irresistible. He holds me tight against his hard body. We struggle over to the bed. Once we lay down, his hands travel over my body, and I moan softly. There are no more rules to break – all of them have already been broken. No, all of them are about to be broken. And that’s okay.

  He strokes and kneads my thighs and they open up for him as if they were petals of a flower at sunrise. I get flushed with lust.

  His hands pull my tank top over my head and allow my breasts to fall out. Jax grabs one with his hand and puts the other into his mouth. It feels like an electric current is running through me, making it impossible to concentrate on anything but this moment. Suddenly, the current focuses itself on the lower part of my body.

  Jax’s tongue starts to move its way down my body in endless circles. He sends me into a spiral of pleasure. I groan and buck against him. I move my hands down his rock hard body and di
scover that he’s already naked. I’m not sure how or when he had taken them off. Maybe he never had them on. I’m happy to find him hard and straining for me.

  I grip him and start to pump slowly. Jax’s hands make their way past my clothes and inside of me and push me to the brink of the unknown. I wrap my legs around his body and push him inside of me.

  It doesn’t take either of us very long. A shuddering swell of sensation rises from somewhere deep within me. Jax starts to groan and I gasp. I throw my head back and a strong orgasm washes over me, rippling throughout my body and reaching its furthest extremes. With one last moan, Jax collapses on top of me.

  The rest of the night passes in a blur. We stay up late eating junk food and laughing about every idiotic thing imaginable. He tells me stories of his brothers and how much they had as little kids, and I tell him funny stories of my own sister. I thought that having sex would change something for the worse. That’s why I didn’t want to do it originally. I thought it would make things odd and awkward, but instead I discovered that it only made things better.

  “You know, I don’t get you,” I say. Jax is lying with his head on my pelvis, and we’re both staring at the ceiling.

  “What don’t you get?”

  “Well, with other guys, my other boyfriends, they just rolled over and fell asleep almost immediately after.”

  “Agh, Sophia.” He waves his hand in disgust. “I don’t want to hear about other guys right now. Not after that.”

  “That was good. There’s no denying that.”

  “Okay? So?”

  “I was just trying to give you a compliment. All I wanted to say was that you’re not like all of them.”

  “How’s that?” Jax turns to me and props up his head with his hand.

  “Well, we just had awesome sex, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Awesome, mind-blowing sex?”

  “Yes, I agree.” He smiles.

  “And you still want to talk to me afterward?”